Destination House — There’s No Place Like It


House (ハウス, Hausu, 1977)

Home is where the heart is. There’s no place like it. We all know/feel this, correct?

But what about a house? What say we about houses? Are houses and homes the same thing? Do our hearts reside there as well? If not, what does?

Well, I’m here to tell you, when it comes to Gorgeous’ Auntie’s House—there’s no place like it.

Close your eyes, clinch ‘em tight, then clack your heels together and repeat this phrase –

“There’s no place like House.”

Upfront—House is THE “school’s out” hotspot. Trust me, Auntie’s house is where and how you want to spend your summer vacation.

Before visiting Auntie, write to her. Make sure it’s okay to visit. (It will be.) Still, there’s something lovely and endearing about an old-school letter. Reach out to Auntie, with like, uh… paper… and a pencil or crayon or one of those other eccentric writing doodads. Then pack your bags and fill them with the essentials—“chocolate, candy, bread, love, and dreams.”


Then prepare to trip like you have never tripped before.


Auntie will welcome you. After all, she’s been waiting on your letter for years.


Do be cautious of kitties that appear out of nowhere. You should be particularly untrusting of felines referring to themselves as Blanche. You don’t know where she came from or where she’s been. It’s completely likely that she’s not up-to-date on her shots.


Follow her since she’s your only navigation system, but keep a safe distance.


Normally, Mr. Togo would be your guide, but he fell in a bucket. Don’t ask!


As you journey, stop every now and then to do a swift headcount. You don’t want to lose anyone along the way.

Freeze Frame House Trip Roll Call!


Auntie’s house is actually a mansion stationed in the quaint Satoyama village, which rests slightly north of Yomi city. Go over the bridge, through the ghostly woods, and up the mountain. You can’t miss it.

Of course, you should consider stopping at Satoyama Melon Spot along the way, because one should never show up to a house empty handed. You’re a guest at Auntie’s lovely abode. Bring her something delightful and edible. It’s rather rude not to. The very least you could do is carry a watermelon.


Baby taught us that.


Dirty Dancing (1987)

And remember to put the watermelon in the well to chill next to the floating-chatty head. Watermelon is best served cold.


Once you enter Auntie’s, you’ll have to pardon the dust, the lizards, the mice mucks, the collection of cobwebs, and the skeletons. Old girl can’t get around like she used to. Help her out!


And Auntie may seem tad peculiar to you…


She hasn’t been the same since her fiancé died. Actually, she’s been resolutely waiting on him since the war. She says, “I know he’ll come back. He promised.”


Yes, her standard deck is missing a few cards and may have been shuffled with the Old Maid set.

Basically, it’s important to keep in mind—when Auntie climbs into the ice box, dances with skeletons, and eats goldfish sushi only to drop their remnants back into the fish bowl for a splashy resurrection—these are all completely NORMAL actions for her. So, chill your alarm.


She may make a few wildly (and seemingly) inappropriate comments as well. Ignore ‘em or toss ‘em back! Girl doesn’t get out much.


If people start disappearing, do not panic! They’re probably just playing hide and seek in the potato field. I know that’s where I would be.

Do steer clear of the piano, it nips a little. Grand-P has teeth for keys, but it’s rather friendly (and a tad hungry) once it warms to you. Really, this is definitely a their bark is bigger situation.


Leave it to nimble “no-digits” Melody to tame Grand-P and lighten the mood (and MAYBE get devoured).


Better her than you, right?


After staying only one night, you may have concluded that Auntie has a thing for all the single ladies. If you ain’t married, you ain’t leavin’! It’s groovy though. Be a ghost! This anticipated makeover is fabulously posh and fashionable in House.


The colors in House are vibrant, rich, boisterous, and, uh… Gorgeous!


Watch it, enjoy it, and go there. You’ll never want to come back! And honestly, you couldn’t if you wanted to. You are home. You are HOUSE.


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